The Year of Magical Thinking

The Year of Magical Thinking by Joan Didion

"You sit down to dinner and life as you know it ends." Novelist and screenwriter Joan Didion writes in this memoir about her experiences after losing her husband to a major cardiac event in late December of 2003, while also caring for her daughter who is in and out of the hospital throughout the year. She describes in raw detail the feelings and thoughts that she had in the first months of her tragedy, including what she labels "magical thinking:" her expectation that her husband was coming back, that he could walk in at any minute. She explains that this idea is a reason for a lot of her possible illogical behavior; she can't throw away his clothes because then he would have nothing to wear. 

Didion repeats certain sentiments throughout the book, sentiments that would come into a person's head multiple times if they lost a loved one. Her husband passed away just as they were eating dinner, and so she repeats "you sit down to dinner and life as you know it ends." She reminisces on the times that they had together and the lives that they lived, and often ends it with "and then gone." It was very real and lent to the understanding that as a widow, these thoughts happen over and over again. She also did a lot of research and included many quotes from other writers on death and grief. A particularly interesting excerpt was from an etiquette book by Emily Post about the proper mourning tactics. There was a definite contrast in how grieving was treated almost a hundred years ago compared to now.

For those that have lost someone, this book brings up a lot of hard emotions, but it may help in feeling a sense of camaraderie. There are others who have gone through similar situations, who have felt the way that you feel. For other readers who are not familiar with these emotions, Didion does an excellent job of putting into words the feelings of grief and everybody could learn from her about what might be going on in the head of a widow. She expresses so accurately the feelings of shock, forgetfulness, and even the irrational ideas that you might have to hold on to their shoes, just in case.

The Year of Magical Thinking is a powerful book that makes you feel. It is raw and real and does not sugarcoat the challenges of losing someone you love so dear. It can put things into perspective, or open your eyes to ways of thinking you are not accustomed to. It teaches us that we are not alone in our inability to let go of the ones we love. “I know why we try to keep the dead alive: we try to keep them alive in order to keep them with us.”